Are you happy about the success obtained by your album “The Beat is Dead”?
I’m happy my familiar audience took to it so kindly.
Most of all I’m happy because of the personal success making this album brought to me. Sobriety, connection to my family and fans, a husband, a new outlet.
How do you usually write the lyrics of your songs?
It begins with free flow while I strum chords.
Words floating in the back of my mind, they flow out as I attempt a melody. Could be subconscious emotions, actions, situations, really whatever is hanging around in my head and heart.
Once I have an idea of what I’m trying to communicate, I focus on it.
If I ever need to fill in the gaps I’ll take a look at my journal and see if any of my random writings fit the mood.
Do you remember writing “for you”?
I distinctly remember writing “For You”.
The riff was written for another upbeat song with a different tittle. I really wasn’t grooving it so I shelved it a bit for later use.
After I got sober, I was a devoted Krishna believer.
I would go to temple and pray, it was a magical moment in my life.
One evening while I was at home jamming my guitar I put my capo on the second fret and tried the chords again. This time I slowed them down and really allowed myself to just jam.
Before I knew it, there was this comforting melody coming out of my guitar. I began to hum a melody and chorus.
I thought hard about where I was in my life and how honestly pure I felt being devoted to my sobriety and Krishna.
Focusing on my heart. Then bam I realized I would do anything for Krishna. Give myself to him and feel pure bliss. Not sexually, but spiritually.
This song is my vulnerability exposed to my higher power. I have strayed away from temple since then but my higher power is still very much shining in my mind and heart. Keeps me on track.
What inspired the lyrics of “Trick Candle”?
I’ve had this habit since I was little. falling in love with idols who have passed. Brandon Lee, James Dean, River Phoenix just to name a few. When I began my solo career my ears opened up to the sounds of INXS. Michael Hutchence is power.
They inspired me so much as a whole but Michael really grabbed me.
I wanted to be even just 1% of him when I performed, still do!
When I was writing lyrics for the music of “Trick Candle” Michael was always around me in documentaries, songs and whatever I could find.
You know the saying its better to fade away then to burn out? Well Michael will never burn out. He actually never faded either, he burns bright with inspiration. And those silly trick candles parents get kids on there bday never go out! You have to nearly pass out to turn them off.
So naturally I named the song “Trick Candle”. My conversation to Michael.
What is the best verse you ever wrote?
The best verse I’ve ever written is whatever inspires someone the most.
And the one of your favorite song (not written by you)?
“I feel ready and yet under prepared”- Shirley Manson. Garbage- “The World is Not Enough”
What is the last song you wrote?
I’m also still in my original band Girl in a Coma so every now and then a new song will pop up for use when that time comes for a new album with them. Last song I wrote is for GIAC.
What does music mean to you?
I’ve done a lot of soul searching these past 4 years of solo music and sobriety.
Music was a burden at one point because I got too caught up with the business side of this career.
For a long time before that music was a routine.
Comparing myself to others, not being able to really appreciate someone else’s art because of bitterness.
Then one day I paused and took a breath and let go. I remembered being inspired by music when I was little. Performing air guitar in the mirror.
Dreaming what performing on stage would be like. I went back to my inner roots. Speaking as a fan of music, how do you begin to explain what it means?
Music inspires, it tortures your heart, it gets you out of bed, it helps you flow from moment to moment, makes you relax, dance, scream!
Speaking as a musician, music doesn’t define me as a person but it is a big part of my personality and flows in my system.
I had to take myself out of it mentally to really be grateful for it. To use what talent I have to help inspire others who listen as fans. Bottom line music means inspiration to me.
What makes you happy in life? And upset?
Being mentally and physically together makes me happy. It makes me happy because then I have the strength to help others.
How can you really be there for someone if your broken? Being broken makes me upset, knowing I wasn’t mentally or physically there for someone in need makes me upset.
What is the best thing of performing for your audience?
The connection is the best thing. Seeing their faces and knowing they are feeling something that is going to let them let go a moment.
Helps me let go too. I love to dance and just show people to not be embarrassed about what you look like when you are in the groove.
It’s also fun to annoy people who are on their phones texting in front of me while I perform. Just want them to look around, even if its not at me.
What inspired “screaming without a sound”?
Musically, Depeche Mode inspired the vibe. Lyrically, you ever have those dreams where you are screaming and nothing comes out? Being a recovered addict, I know what it feels like in reality to try to use your voice and nothing comes out.
The irony of a singer who can’t talk.
I write from an addict’s point of view in this song. Wishing I could go back to the days where I was innocent and care free without guilt. Realizing my addiction has roots and triggers. Being at peace with the past.